I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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