i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
