Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
