You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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