i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
