Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
