So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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