We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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