with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
