I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
