i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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