I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Did I show you my penis last night?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
