it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
