oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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