Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
