you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize