I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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