**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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