dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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