too bad you live with your parents still
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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