TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
When are your genitals available?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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