you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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