Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
