Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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