i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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