omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
