every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
