I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
