she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
