We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
the liver wants what the liver wants
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
