if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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