Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
