Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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