There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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