note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
