he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
