I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I enjoy the company of your penis
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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