note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
