i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
