I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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