I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
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He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
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The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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