You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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