you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
