I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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