Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
