if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
