also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
