Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
