Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He shit in the fireplace
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
