i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
