Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
