Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
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In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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