You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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