I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
