Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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