I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
These tits shall not be calmed
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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