I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
