Pappa wants mamma naked
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
