i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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