using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
