Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
