I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
