I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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