So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
