my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
